3 days and one hour

She'll be leaving.

I'm scared.

My bestest friend is leaving.

Eight years... 

of friendship.

She's all grown up, I'm proud of her.

Gonna write a letter to her soon.

It's nothing like a love letter, there's no excitement and flustered emotions.

It's gonna be a pure, earnest friendship letter.

I'm already crying thinking bout that.

Ready to move on but no really?

God, it's hard. Whenever I'm alone, images of jealousy appeared in my mind again. I wanna move on. I really wanted to. I want to erase those memories, social media sucks bad at this time. Ivan was right. I loved. I don't think I am in love but I emotionally loved, I put my emotions into the relationship, I wasted too much time missing him back then. That's why it hurts. I thought I covered up the scar but Facebook sucks, I realized I hadn't let it go when i saw his photo. I cried. Finally, after one week. It's true, I ignored the fact I broke up. I thought I was okay, but no. I came across a passage from Elite Daily, it says women brings there baggage from one relationship to another, more broken the each time they move on, they will always remember how the scars are, how deeply they fell in love, it will be a baggage which will only be lighter from time to time, losing part by part of herself. I can say that I did not fell in love, instead I was blinded by desire, desperation of being loved and the most scariest thing, lust. Lust was indeed beautiful but the consequences were unimaginable, it felt like a curse, that moment of regret, killer of innocence. I'm scared of falling in love, but I'm just that kind of woman, well, like 90% of women in the world, we do the same thing, find love. It's our nature, we'll never stop finding love, or waiting for love. That's it, not to say I'm proud but wow, who knows I'll have two ex- boyfriends from high school... hahaha. There were moments of fun and also times where it hurts like crazy, but I do not regret it, I felt comforted, at least I loved, or tried to. Good experience I would say to know what young love is. Young love is wild, daring, as we are in the generation Y, we chase after what we want, not scared, we live like kings and queens. Sorry mum, I grew up faster than you've imagined. Time to move on. Bye ex- boyfriend. I meant, I'm ready to say bye but this stupid woman soul won't let it go so fast, is it that I have an incredible memory? Not sure. Still, I hope I won't end up bumping you in our housing area (I'm getting a car LOL which means increasing our chances of bumping into each other), and also PLEASE I hope I won't go to your college, but it offers the cheapest course.... bruuuuuhhhhh I hope I won't see you in a few years, not to mention we'll have to go back to school to take our results... Hope you won't appear lol, go to your college please, i'm bad. Btw, I sweared. HAHAHA. I sweared on both breakups. Everyone knows I don't swear, Ivan was so shocked when I sweared too vulnerably. I admit it was really bad. Move on, MOVE ON YOU WOMAN.

好像忘了。

很好，
感情事我忘得快。
没有你也很好
好像找回自己了。
说真的，
你也没对我太好。
值得留念的不多。
可惜在失去了暧昧时的我们，
回不到我们好朋友的时候。
遗憾，
只是在于我，
失去了位好朋友，
那是在一起前的我们，
所以我们在一起的时光不是最美最值得留念的。
而是我们还没掉入爱河的那段时光。
一起读书一起捉弄对方的时光。
不去想了。
谢谢你陪伴我度过中五的中学生涯，
再会， 好朋友。
希望我们大了以后，
找到适合的同后，
偶尔能一起出来，
喝一杯，
像老朋友一样。
十年后吧。
有缘出来喝杯吧。
干杯。

Young love.

I fell in love,
I caught up with life.
I experienced the wonderful tingling feelings,
the ones the songs and books talked about.
It's another mistake I made,
but it felt good.
I fell in a good way.
I came back from the pothole of lust.
I did not shed a tear.
My heart felt like it tore,
but it healed up pretty fast,
I'm not fully healed,
memories they still haunt me,
but I grew, I know it's not worth to cry for.
For I gave more than enough,
and he did not.
Mistakes.
But no regrets.
It's beautiful after all, to date, discover and experience love.
Young love, beautiful.
The part where two people parts,
may seem saddening,
but that's what makes the whole thing breathtaking, breathless.
It's the beauty of young, fragile and mysterious love.
Crush, lust, tingles, desire.
You experience it all, no shame saying it.
yes, I've experienced it.
I'm not yet mature and I can never say I'm mature.
But I learnt, I start up again.
It's a beautiful 2015.
God bless me.
And you too, my best friend.
My old love.
Bless you.
We can find a better life apart.
And thanks for having me.
Loves, me.