Ready to move on but no really?

God, it's hard. Whenever I'm alone, images of jealousy appeared in my mind again. I wanna move on. I really wanted to. I want to erase those memories, social media sucks bad at this time. Ivan was right. I loved. I don't think I am in love but I emotionally loved, I put my emotions into the relationship, I wasted too much time missing him back then. That's why it hurts. I thought I covered up the scar but Facebook sucks, I realized I hadn't let it go when i saw his photo. I cried. Finally, after one week. It's true, I ignored the fact I broke up. I thought I was okay, but no. I came across a passage from Elite Daily, it says women brings there baggage from one relationship to another, more broken the each time they move on, they will always remember how the scars are, how deeply they fell in love, it will be a baggage which will only be lighter from time to time, losing part by part of herself. I can say that I did not fell in love, instead I was blinded by desire, desperation of being loved and the most scariest thing, lust. Lust was indeed beautiful but the consequences were unimaginable, it felt like a curse, that moment of regret, killer of innocence. I'm scared of falling in love, but I'm just that kind of woman, well, like 90% of women in the world, we do the same thing, find love. It's our nature, we'll never stop finding love, or waiting for love. That's it, not to say I'm proud but wow, who knows I'll have two ex- boyfriends from high school... hahaha. There were moments of fun and also times where it hurts like crazy, but I do not regret it, I felt comforted, at least I loved, or tried to. Good experience I would say to know what young love is. Young love is wild, daring, as we are in the generation Y, we chase after what we want, not scared, we live like kings and queens. Sorry mum, I grew up faster than you've imagined. Time to move on. Bye ex- boyfriend. I meant, I'm ready to say bye but this stupid woman soul won't let it go so fast, is it that I have an incredible memory? Not sure. Still, I hope I won't end up bumping you in our housing area (I'm getting a car LOL which means increasing our chances of bumping into each other), and also PLEASE I hope I won't go to your college, but it offers the cheapest course.... bruuuuuhhhhh I hope I won't see you in a few years, not to mention we'll have to go back to school to take our results... Hope you won't appear lol, go to your college please, i'm bad. Btw, I sweared. HAHAHA. I sweared on both breakups. Everyone knows I don't swear, Ivan was so shocked when I sweared too vulnerably. I admit it was really bad. Move on, MOVE ON YOU WOMAN.